Here I go again,
Thinking About The Past,
Present,
And Future.
Of Me In Each.
Here I Go Again,
Silently Rant About Myself,
Enraged At How It’s Been.
Convinced Of Constant Failure,
Drowned In Self Hate.
The Failures Of My Endeavors,
In Love,
My Dreams,
My Expectations,
Make Me Bear A Colossal Weight.
Bear It In Silence,
Alone.
Is It Just My Nature?
Is It Something I Can Break?
Here I Go Again…
Suddenly,
I’ve found something.
Amazingly,
It may be real…
May be…maybe…
But should I take a step?
Into this unknown,
Which I suspect,
Could Be A Paradise?
I Hold the Fear,
That It Could Be,
Yet Another Mirage,
Vanishing As I Approach.
But Still,
The Temptation Arises,
Every Passing Second.
So Shall I Take A Step?
I Wear A Mask,
With Face,
Words,
And Posture.
Concealing All Underneath,
But For What Purpose?
To Avoid Pain?
To Hide Who I am?
It’s A Test,
To Those,
Who I Show This Mask.
To Test,
Their Own Perception.
To See,
If They Look Through It,
And Find,
The Silent Cries Inside.
But It Always Seems,
I’m Too Optimistic.
Constantly Proven,
That I Should Be A Cynic,
Dissapointed,
In The Perception of Man.
I’m a loner,
Always Unwanted,
Never Desired.
Unending Silence,
About Who I am.
Does Anyone Care?
Why Is It,
That My Life Seems This Way?
Am I Ugly?
Unimpressive?
Hated?
Do I Deserve To Be Wanted?
Or Am I Immune To It?
Is This Just How Life Is?
For Me?
Depression,
By Watching A World
Ever In Motion.
Trapped,
In A Prison Of Stagnation.
I’m Being Left Behind,
Wondering, How?
How Do I Keep Up?
Do I Crawl?
Do I Take Baby Steps?
Or Should I Take A Risk,
And Leap?
Where Do I Go?
How Do I Get There?
When Will I Finally Catch Up?
The dread settles in,
Thoughts running wild.
Am I doomed to this fate?
One of endless frustrations,
Completely unabated,
At Prospects of Happiness Wasted.
Wasted Away By My Own Detriments.
Indecision,
Overthinking,
Cowardice,
Insignificance,
Mediocrity.
What Will It Take,
To Finally Break This?
